Stupid humour

[Steeliedave]

I went to see my Doctor the other day, I told him I was having problems with my bowels, he said, are you regular!, I said, Oh! yes every morning 6-30am, he said, so what's the problem, I said well I dont get up until 8-00am.

[Uncle Roy]

Very funny

[ubique]

A tough looking group of bikers were out riding when they saw a woman about to
jump off a bridge... So they stopped and parked their Harleys. Their leader,
a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm
going to commit suicide," she says. While he didn't want to appear
insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity either, so he asked her...
"Well, before you jump, why don't You give me a kiss?" So she does...
And it was a long, deep, lingering, spine-tingling kiss. After
she's finished, the biker leader says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I've ever
had! That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous. Why In the
world would you want to commit suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl..."
The authorities think she may have been
pushed.

[JohnDavisStringsHere]

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.

[ubique]

LOL

[Uncle Roy]

gentleman, lets have have some more humour but only the stuff we could tell our Granny and children. Thanks

[ubique]

Wife to husband. " I look old, fat and frumpy, pay me a compliment!
Husband to wife. " Your eysight is spot on!

[Donny Johnston]

Man is pulled over by the police, policeman says, "do you realise your rear lights aren't working ?", the man said, "no I'm at the front."

[JohnDavisStringsHere]

My Gal said "would you like to rip all my clothes off and make love all afternoon? "" I said, Is the Pope a catholic?, Do cannons go BOOM!!?, Does a bear shit in the forest??!!??......

I wish I had just said yes....... She`s been on Google for 2 and a 1/2 hours now!!!!

[ubique]

Quickie in the Bushes.

There are two statues in a park; One of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life.

The angel tells them, 'As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most.' He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery.

The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues.

After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing. The angel tells them, 'Um, you have fifteen minutes left, would you care to do it again?'

He asks her 'Shall we?' She eagerly replies, 'Oh, yes, let's! But let's change positions this time, I'll hold the pigeon down and you shit on its head