Stupid humour

[ZBSD-10]

This says it all !

[Jim Pritchard]

Wandered down to the bottom of the garden and sat by the pond. This fairy comes up to me and I asked her to make me desireable & irresistable to all women .....with a twirl of her wand....Starbursts/ Bright shining lights, she turns me into a 'CREDIT CARD', so I recon i'm pretty flexable now!!!

Went shopping on Saturday night, pulled up outside Morrisons. Before I got out a very nice young woman (a lady of the night ) said she would do anything for £10..................................................................................................................................................................................................................




Guess who got his car washed!!

[Uncle Roy]

My mate asked me if I knew the bloke who lived up our street with one leg called Colin?
I said No, what was his other leg called?

[ubique]

Every day, a male employee walks up very close to a female co-worker
at the coffee machine.
He stops, inhales quite deeply and says that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this, the woman can't stand it anymore.
She takes her issue to a supervisor in Human Resources and asks to
file a sexual harassment grievance against the guy.
The supervisor is puzzled and asks, "What's threatening about a
co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"
"It's Frank, the midget."

[Borat]

I went to a fancy dress party the other week with my wife, together we dressed up as a cow, i was in the front and she was in the rear, on the way back we took a short cut through a farmers field, we were about half way across it when i told my wife we were being followed by a rather large bull, for christs sake she screamed what are we going to do, well i said, i'm going to eat grass if i were you i'd brace yourself............

[Uncle Roy]

If I don't see you through the week, I'll see you through the window

[Will C]

Mary had a little lamb,
She tied it to a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its a**e
and turned its wool to nylon.

Mary had a little lamb,
She also had a duck.
She put them on the mantelpiece,
to see if they would f... all off.

[JohnDavisStringsHere]

Mary had a little lamb,
She also had a bear,
I`ve often seen here little lamb,
but i`ve never seen her bare

[Uncle Roy]

'twas Chistmas eve in the mortuary .
The coldest night of the year.
When a corpse sat up in it's coffin and said.
Brrr it's cold in here.

In walked the mortuary keeper.
His nose all red with beer.
Lay down you silly old bugger.
You can't get up in here

[Donny Johnston]

TWAS CHRISTMAS DAY IN THE BAKEHOUSE
THE SNOW WAS FALLING FAST
WE DON'T WANT YOUR CHRISTMAS PIES
SO SHOVE THEM UP YOUR