Stupid humour

A woman goes to her plastic sergeon for a face lift.
He explaines "I'm fitting a revolutionary new system, with a clamp in the back of your head. All you need do is tighten it with this key once a month."
She goes away happy, if a little skint...

Six months later she returns for a checkup, complaining of terrible bags under her eyes.
The Doc takes one look and says "You've been tightening the key too much!"
"No" says the lady, "once a week like you said."
"I said once a MONTH, woman! Those aren't bags under your eyes, those are your BREASTS!!!"
"AHHH" says the woman
"That explaines the beard...."

[Ken Byng]

Here's one that is painfully close to my heart.

Attachments

[Ken Byng]

Attachments

[Ken Byng]

The more you drink, the more attractive she looks. http://www.brackenspub.com/beer.swf

[acerod]

Q. What's the difference between a dog and a fox.
A. About 8 pints of lager.

[Steeliedave]

Four Irish lads playing dominoes, the first puts down the double six, the second plays the double two on the double six, the third plays the five three on the double two, the fourth one says, I cant go!!.

[Steeliedave]

A new contraceptive has just come on the market made out of wood, they're calling them "Tool Boxes"

[Paul Brennan]

So, Oirish jokes is it !!!

Two Irish pilots are sitting in the cockpit after executing the most amazing landing of their careers.

"Be jayzus, Mick. That was one tricky hoor of a landing. You done great, really great".

"Jayzus Patsy you done a great job yerself".

"Have you ever seen such a short runway? Unbelievable!"

"I haven't be jayzus. Unbelievable how short it is but have you seen the width of it !!!! "

[Zumbilly(Murdoch)]

Guy goes to see a clairvoyant
The clairvoyant says "It is" as the guy enters the room.
The guy says "Is it true You can tell the future"?

[Arcada]

So, Oirish jokes is it !!!

Air Traffic Controller: Please give me your height and position.

Irish Pilot: I'm 5'-10", and sitting at the front