Stupid humour

[zbplayer]

Went to the Sperm Donor Clinic today. As I was leaving, the receptionist shouted out "Thanks for coming"

[Jim Pritchard]

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day

A woman goes to her Doctor, worried about her husband's temper.
The Doctor asks: "What's the problem?
The woman says: "Doctor, I don't know what to do . Every day my husband
seems to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me."
The Doctor says: "I have a cure for that. When it seems that your husband
is getting angry, just take a sip of water and start swishing it in your
mouth.
Just swish and swish, but don't swallow it until he either leaves the
room or
goes to bed and is asleep."
Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.
The woman says: "Doctor that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband
started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and he calmed
right down!
How does a glass of water do that?"
The Doctor says: "The water itself does nothing. It's keeping your
mouth shut that does the trick."

Joe says to Paddy: "Close your curtains the next time you're making love to your wife.
The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."
Paddy says: "Well the joke's on them because I wasn't even at home yesterday."




J

[Will C]

I'm going to try that middle one on Her indoors..... <grin>

[Uncle Roy]

Stupid mistake

[Basil Henriques]

Some bird crapped on my car the other day.
I won't be taking her out again !

Strangely enough I got these amongst some freebies from Halfords..
I think they're meant to be left on the back seat !

[Tony Smart]

The bloke busking on the street with his guitar was asked by a passer by "Do you always play by ear" ?

He said, "No I sometimes play around the corner. "

[Uncle Roy]

I hear that Greggs bakery have just announced plans to start a home delivery service using drones.
All sounds a bit pie in the sky to me..

[Uncle Roy]

She whispers to her friend

[Uncle Roy]

The drone

[Uncle Roy]

Dog owner to dog, " a neighbor tells me you are chasing people on a bicycle"
Dog replies " he's lying I don't even have a bicycle".