Stupid humour

[Donny Johnston]

I WISH I WAS GLOW WORM
GLOW WORMS AREN'T GLUM
IT'S HARD TO BE DISGRUNTLED
WHEN THE SUN SHINES OUT YOU BUM

[Jason Lynch]

Guy goes to the Doctor.
"Doctor" He complaines "Whenever I go for a pee, it comes out like a bloody fountain, goes everywhere. The wife won't stop complaining about the mess. public toilets are a no no"
"Drop your trousers and let me have a look" say the doc.
He grabs a mgnifying glass and inspects the fella's todger.
"Dear oh dear. this is incredible!"
"What is it, Doc?"
"see for yourself. It's riddles with holes, like a dartboard!"
"Oh god, what do I do now?"
"Don't worry." says the Doctor, scribbling on a piece of paper.
"Go and see this fellow, he'll be able to help you out."
"Thanks doc" says the man, getting redressed
"Is he a specialist?"
"No, He's a Clarinet Player. He'll show you how to hold it......"

[Uffe]

A fart that doesn't smell is a waste......

[Steeliedave]

We keep getting reggae music out of our printer, the paper must be Jammin.

[Steeliedave]

Last weekend my Mother in law tripped and fell into a wishing well. And they say they don't work!.

[Steeliedave]

Quasimodo is running down the street with a bunch of kids chasing him, he stops and turns to them and say's, F--- off I haven't got your ball.

[Donny Johnston]

I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.

[Will C]

Did ya hear about the explosion in the cheese factory? Da brie was everywhere.

[slimbo]

I have a new neighbour...
She's single...
She lives right across the road.
I can see her place from my front window.
I watched as she got home from work this
evening.
I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway and knocked on my door.
I rushed to open it, she looks at me and said,
"I just got home, and I am so sexy! And I have this strong urge to have a good time, get drunk, and make love all night long!
Are you busy tonight?"
I quickly replied, "Nope, I'm free, I have no plans at all!"
She said, "Great! Could you watch my dog?"

Being a Silver Surfer really sucks sometime‘s.

[Steeliedave]

Went to my Doctors the other day, I said Doc I think I have a bladder infection, he said "urine trouble then"